The Shirt of Flames

“ Love is extravagant, in the price, it is willing to pay, the hardship it is willing to endure, and the strength it is willing to spend. Love never thinks in terms of “how little”, but always in terms of “how much”. Love gives, love knows, and love last…”
-Unknown Continue reading The Shirt of Flames

Bliss

blissFind something, anything, which is so encompassing that in a given block of time it enthralls you to get lost together in unconsciousness. Such things are beyond space and time, it is bliss and one only questions the indignities of why when not doing this transcendent work. Continue reading Bliss

What Is Needed… Hope, Love, Faith

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“I said to my soul, be still and wait without hope, for hope would be hope for the wrong thing.”

While reading a book of essays from Andre Dubus, I happened upon a piece of advice given him that has stayed with me, “don’t think about what you want; think about what you need.” And what you need is to a very large extent what you have at this moment. But we go around in such denial as to accepting what we already have. We always want something else in lieu of what we need. And if you get your heart’s desire? It ends up like a toy a child begs for only to become bored with. What you need you don’t even want to think about much less want. Continue reading What Is Needed… Hope, Love, Faith

Of Words, a Raft, & a Dragonfly

dictionary-390055_640“And the raft is cast aside on the shore of destination only replaced by a new raft which in time will discard itself, inasmuch as knowledge begets wisdom.” -JC

I had a dream that I lived on an island, a faraway island where I was completely ignorant of the world and my place in it. And one day I awoke from a deep sleep only to see a Dragonfly who bid me follow. I suddenly found Continue reading Of Words, a Raft, & a Dragonfly

The Authentic Self

92D971C610It is a bit daunting to think that every time we breathe we take in a small bit of the universe. And by the same token, every time we exhale we leave a bit of ourselves out in the open. Vulnerable and unsettling as that may seem, we each hold the key to the threshold that enters the laborite to our individual self and our breathing is the conduit, both literal and metaphoric; pursuit to each other. And no one else can enter that very crooked path for you; it’s a solo gig. But it’s so hard to know the self.  

One way is to look at our expectations for they tell us more about ourselves than just what we’re expecting. How far are you willing to go for your aspirations? Blind ambition can lead to all kinds of false idles until you can’t get enough. You become so separated from all that is internal… it remains hidden, covered up in a delusion. How do we avoid this interior/exterior tug of war? Continue reading The Authentic Self

The Canyon

N59BYOWHER-freestockphotosA bit of advice given to a young Native American at the time of his initiation: ‘As you go the way of life, you will see a great chasm. Jump. It is not as wide as you think.’ – Joseph Campbell, “Reflections on the Art of Living.”

As anyone who travels this canyon into oneself knows that its chasms cut deep. What’s                 expected runs amuck, the unexpected is in vogue and one must expect and accept the difference. Every time I held myself in amazement, overwhelmed at another crack discovered on the surface, another inkling of understanding, it was also matched by feelings of doubt and fear. Is it easier being numb, just grazing through life without  any direction or so we may believe at times. Continue reading The Canyon

Peace At Every Turn

RL2PEP40MR“Is there a difference between happiness and inner peace? Yes. Happiness depends on conditions being perceived as positive; inner peace does not.”                                   -Eckhart Tolle

One day not too long ago, a friend of mine said to me and I quote, ‘If I’d only find peace in my life then I know I’d be happy.” I thought about this and suggested that peace and happiness have nothing to do with each other as one is not inclusive of the other. Continue reading Peace At Every Turn

The Road

  The untold want by life and land ne’er granted.     FZQOV2XR3W                                                            Now voyager sail thou forth to seek and find. –Walt Whitman- Untold Want

And what of the road, the open road, the path I walk; its sweet song that I fail to hear at times, I fail to appreciate out of bowing to my fear. To let go of fear, bid it adieu is to “live the life imagined”, as Thoreau so simply but effectively stated. Walk from this day forward and believe that it is so… right now standing in these shoes on this good earth. Continue reading The Road

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220px-Nathaniel_Hawthorne“I used to think I could imagine all passions, all feelings,     and states of the heart and mind; but how little did I know! Indeed, we are but shadows; we are not endowed with real life, and that which seems most real about us is but the thinnest substance of a dream, till the heart be touched. That touch creates us, then we begin to be, thereby we are beings of reality and inheritors of eternity.”                              -Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Chamber

Mr. Parkinson Goes to Clinical Trials, Part 1

When I was first diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease I went online and signed up for newsletters, free publications, and became a member of several major Parkinson’s foundations. As you may have guessed, I have collected tons of information and the one thing all these sites suggested is volunteering for clinical trials. Yet for some reason, I did noMattheus_van_Hellemont_The_Alchemistt think they were talking to me? Maybe that was the ‘denial’ part of me; if you take part then you acknowledge you have Parkinson’s.

One day a friend gave me the phone number from an advertisement, looking for volunteers for a Parkinson’s study. I asked my neurologist about it and with his encouragement I called the number, left my name, and did not think twice about it. After a few months, I received a call from a research facility and they Continue reading Mr. Parkinson Goes to Clinical Trials, Part 1