Onward To the Palace Of Wisdom- Changes

028“Life is a constant reassessment of a reassessment of a reassessment”.                            -Jimmie Dale Gillmor

One day, not too long ago, I was reading my old journals and it dawned on me that issues I wrote about back then are still with me today, maybe even stronger. Has anything changed? I’m still questioning demons that I assumed I’d released myself from, but they still dwell inside, still feel at home in a world I thought I’d made alien to them. So what’s the point of continuously writing about things that won’t go away?

Maybe that ‘is’ the point… all these questions; my hopes and fears are a part of me. As the Buddha said, “be careful of what you destroy for it might be the best part.” as these parts turned around to their opposites; such as hate, turn it into love. The contrast is needed to fully understand the complete sensation of ‘love’.

The act of writing recognizes, all be it a continuous and repetitive endeavor, that all parts good and bad are still with me. Though they may lay doormat they still influence me and all I do. The trick is in the awareness, the mindfulness we practice as we seek knowledge of all things which encompass our being… good and bad. This is why we feel these issues stronger than before; awareness shines a light deep inside the abyss.

So I will honest in my writing, not glossing it over and will savor the repetitions. The old demons never really go away; they just require a nod and a wink. Everything wants recognition and acknowledgment, and then we move on.

© JC

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I was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease in October of 2012. These are my writings of life and love after the fall but during a time of deep creativity either because or in spite of my illness... Peace and Love... JC

11 thoughts on “Onward To the Palace Of Wisdom- Changes”

  1. I do so like this post and emphize with your feelings of writings over the years. Often I would stop writing for long periods in my life as I felt I was repeating myself and not finding any solution and so not only disappointed with myself but also frustrated. Your calm understanding of the necessity of continuity transfers a certain stillness upon myself as I have slowly, gosh so very slowly I feel, learnt to calm that inner frustratraiton and anger to acceptance and okay, I’ll try to give it a nod and a wink…warmest wishes to you. Checked out the singer (never heard of him before) and enjoyed listening to some of his tracks.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I know it’s not easy and can get downright frustrating. But I guess it’s more of an acceptance, we are the way we are but we don’t have to act on it. Be your better angels and see the difference.

      I’m glad you checked out Jimmie’s music. He’s from Texas and is a devotee of Zen Buddhism. A unique voice.

      Thank you so much for your comment!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you for this deep and thought provoking post. I have given it a lot of thought today and will observe my reactions to events over a few days. I believe it is true that we always retain the characteristics we were born with but add our own demons as time goes.
    I do feel though, that as we face them and look them ‘in the eye’ the awareness will make it easier for them shrink. Hence the calmer and more spiritual being that you yourself have become. I know it is certainly true for me.

    I will remember Buddha’s saying. Never thought of that.
    Blessings to you

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes, I think awareness makes a huge difference and to be mindful of your awareness, then nothing can get to you! How many gifts we have waiting inside if only we would turn them around.

      Thank you for your comment, it is appreciated.



  3. I get this, completely, and take it a notch further. I love the Buddha’s take, of course, I very much embrace the general philosophy that good/bad are very relative terms. Everything is just a facet of something else, so the trick is merely to favour the most agreeable or pleasurable facet (this is where Buddhism might disagree with me as, the way I understood it, it tends to not want you to focus on pleasure but rather detachment, one of the reasons why I moved away from it after I got to know it, though I still consider it a wonderful philosophy).
    Old diaries, old journals, old blogs: in any case, going back to them and realising what is being repeated is essential to reveal to you what your core is, what makes it up. Have you ever read “The Years of Rice and Salt?” It is not considered a masterwork, however, I loved it.
    I especially loved the portrayal of how reincarnation works. The same characters return again and again in animal form or changing gender and social station, with interactions and core personalities that remain the same throughout the ages, or that evolve very slowly as things are understood or moved on from, and those that are not simply come back and are dealt with again and again, from differing points of view.
    I don’t necessarily believe in technical reincarnation, but I do believe it is important to know one’s core: if you ignore it, it will come back to haunt you, even in this lifetime. If something keeps returning, it eventually has to become your friend, and you just have to learn to appreciate his or her best traits and invite him for coffee and accept it is probably there to stay.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes, I believe to know your core is essential if one wants to move on in this life or the next one… as it is said, we are the one’s we are seeking to know.

      Now detachment in Buddism is something I felt when I was first introduced into meditation. Why have this beautiful universe if you shouldn’t go out and enjoy it. Again we have both sides, detachment and engagement. I believe it’s possible to have both.

      The book sounds interesting. I.m going to order a copy.

      Thank you for your comment!

      Liked by 1 person

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